I was driving down A1A yesterday when an old man on the side of the road caught my eye. Dressed in a pair of camo shorts and an Allman Brothers t-shirt, he was leaning on a cane made of driftwood and holding a sign that read: "Will increase your blog followers for food."
Intrigued, I made a quick u-turn and pulled up beside him. I rolled down my window and asked, "So, you say you can help me increase my blog followers?"
He wiped his nose with a sun burnt forearm as his narrow, mailbox slot eyes fixed on a passing Escalade crammed full of tan surfer girls, all bouncing off the seats to a blaring tune I didn't recognize.
"Absolutely," he replied, his eyes following the black beast of an SUV as it turned right toward the beach. "I have a system that could double it."
"You can? For food?"
"How much food?"
"About a forty bucks worth."
So I whipped out two twenties and tossed them to him. "Now what?"
He slid the bills into his back pocket then wiped his nose with his forearm again. "S'easy," he replied as he stared off into the distance. "You just need to ask all the folks that are following your blog to recruit one more follower."
He stopped staring at the vision in the distance and his eyes locked on mine. "I shared that with Bill Gates. Back in '77. Course there were no blogs back then. We was talking about doubling the users of that Microsoft thing he had going." He turned his head and spat on the ground. "Course, the rest is history."
I thanked him and pointed my car to the Usina Bridge. As I crossed over the Intracoastal, I smiled and thought, Yep, Warren. Money well spent.
Now...you dear reader know what to do. Why keep all this blog buffoonery to yourself? Ask a friend to follow. Maybe two friends. I'd love to drive by that old man in a few weeks and watch his brown-as-tanned leather face fold up into a smile as I shout, "It worked. It worked!"
And while we're talking about doubling things. Here's a recipe for two that is great doubled.
GARLIC BAKED SHRIMP
PREP: 10 minutes COOK: 15 minutes
1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 cloves garlic, minced (or 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder)
3 tablespoons seasoned breadcrumbs with Romano cheese
1-1/2 tablespoons dry sherry (or dry white wine, Sauvignon Blanc is good)
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1. Preheat the oven to 375°.
2. Place the shrimp in a small casserole dish and add the melted butter.
Stir shrimp to coat well.
3. Add the remaining ingredients and stir to coat. May be refrigerated
until ready to bake.
4. Place casserole dish in the oven and bake for 15 minutes (a little
longer if the shrimp have been chilled.)
Serve with Steamed White Rice and Corn.