Thursday, February 17, 2011

Why Does My Produce Department Think It's a Rain Forest?

In my previous post about frozen and fresh veggies, my friend Jill mentioned how irked she gets when her produce department pipes in the sound of thunder and rain over the loudspeakers whenever the misters are activated.

My local supermarket does the same. And now that she's mentioned it, that little ploy perturbs me as well. Particularly when I see some senior citizens scattering about, rushing to unfold their umbrellas and don their overcoats whenever the first clap of thunder roars over the PA system. I even saw one octogenarian, in an effort to keep her obviously just-styled hair from getting drenched, tear a plastic bag off the spool next to the green peppers and yank it down over her head. Fortunately, I was there to yank it back off when she started turning blue.

Why do supermarkets do this? Is it to make us think that these veggies are so fresh even the rain followed them inside? Is it a ploy to keep us from picking up the produce and squeezing it? (After all, who wants to squeeze anything in a thunderstorm, unless of course you're trying to squeeze your butt into a bus stop filled with thirteen other people who got there first?) Or perhaps it's an attempt to engage all of our senses in the shopping experience - thus making it more pleasurable?

I think it's the latter. One popular Florida supermarket chain even claimed the tag line: "Publix Market: Where Shopping Is a Pleasure." They plastered this motto on the front of their stores, on their shopping carts, and on their bags. Even the nametags on the bag boys proclaim it. Now I don't know about you, but I can think of at least a half-dozen deliciously pleasurable experiences right off the top of my head, and grocery shopping is not one of them.

But I imagine that in their desire to make shopping as pleasurable as, say, dining on a delicious gourmet meal, savoring a fine single malt scotch, or wild unbridled sex with your soul mate, supermarkets have chosen to engage all of our senses with the sounds of rumbling thunder and misty rain.

Of course, my question is: Why stop at the produce department? Why not have clucking poultry and the pungent smell of chicken poop piped in at the meat department? Or the smell of wet hay and cow manure in the dairy department? And think of how your bread-buying experience would be enhanced if all of the ladies behind the bakery counter were pleasantly plump, sported cheeks the color of rose petals, and spoke in a dialect that could only be described as rural Sicilian?

And how about the deli department? Imagine how authentic it would be if they piped in the sound of old lady Sussman berating the poor slob behind the counter because her order of sliced pastrami was 1/8 of an ounce off? Oh, wait; old lady Sussman already does that on a regular basis in my store. Never mind.

Hmm, now that I've thought some more about it, I'm convinced that the reason they pipe in the rain forest soundtrack is to engage all of our senses: to make a mundane, weekly chore, a pleasure.

And in a way it worked. I now count grocery shopping as a highly pleasurable experience, just a notch below dining on a delicious gourmet meal, savoring a fine single malt scotch, or wild unbridled sex with my soul mate. And also a notch below feeding the dog, changing a tire, and scratching an itch when no one is looking.

So here's to the pleasures of shopping. May all of us find in it a happy ending. But only when no one is looking.

Bon Appetit!

Warren

26 comments:

  1. The only thoughts I've ever given this topic was that they did it to wash the produce. I figured it was their way of keeping it clean from all those grubby hands that touch it. The next thought about it was the fact that they don't have the common courtesy to see if anyone is standing by the broccoli picking out crowns to avoid ruining the curls that took them an hour to do on their hair. Pssh! It's be more pleasurable if I didn't end up hosed down and in that case a towel boy would be much appreciated.

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  2. @Pretend Chef. Towel boy? Love it, Rochelle!

    I agree, they probably mist it to clean the produce (and perhaps to keep it from drying out) but must we have the sound effects? :-)

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  3. Aw, I miss that sound. None of the grocery stores I go to now play it--actually, I can't remember seeing them mist anything, either. But this post immediately brought back memories of going grocery shopping with my mom when I was a little kid. It did make grocery shopping a little more fun!

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  4. I've been to the Rain Forest...it's nothing like that! I used to work at the ShopRite in the deli, so I KNOW what you are talking about. If I hear that Can Can song one more time.................

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  5. @Patti. Touche' (Heck, I've never been to the rainforest and I'm sure it doesn't sound like that either, lol).

    I see you had a Mrs. Sussman in your neck of the woods, as well. I guess there's one in every deli! :-)

    PS. Remind me to thank you for bringing up the Can Can song. Now I can't get it out of my head....

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  6. @Margot. I'm glad it brought back fond memories. I'm sorry the stores in your area don't have the sound effects - I guess they are not as bent on providing their shoppers with a truly pleasurable experience, lol. Anyway, thanks for dropping by, I'm sure we'll take some more trips down memory lane. :-)

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  7. It's not so much that it irks me, it's just that the thunder and rain audio in the produce dept. gets old after awhile. (I remember when it was a "new thang" and my kids made remarks like "how cool is that?" Those kids are now 29 and 32!)

    Anyway, some grocery stores are more pleasant than others. For me in North Texas, if it's clean, convenient, and well-stocked, I'm a happy camper. When I feel a need to treat myself, I take a field trip to Central Market in Ft. Worth. Affiliated with the HEB grocery chain, it's got wonderful freshies, bakery, seafood and meat aisle, wine and ale galore, an outstanding cheese and deli section, a cafe' and nifty gourmet and international items, but no rain, thunder, bells, whistles, clucking or mooing involved! ;)

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  8. Hey, I LIKE the thunder! I rush over to the produce and watch as the mist sifts onto the produce. Then I gaze at the water droplets glistening on the veggies, and leave feeling all refreshed.

    Hey, I live in the desert - I'll take any form of rain I can get, even if it's fake!!

    I'll never be able to enter a grocery store again without thinking of the sound effects that are missing.... :)

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  9. @Beth. I was starting to feel really good about this post 'til you went all Joni Mitchell on me. Now I have strains of Big Yellow Taxi wafting through my brain: "Living in the desert now, you don't know what you got til it's gone." lol.

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  10. I assume the sounds effects are a courtesy, they have had the misters for years!! It would be annoying to get sprayed on. I assume it is to keep the produce from drying out not to keep it clean. After all, most produce comes from the ground anyway.

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  11. I'm with Lisa - I always thought the sound effects were a warning to get out of the way before you get drenched. I definitely don't want to get caught in a downpour while I'm reaching for lettuce.

    As for the other sound effects, a Kroger here in Knoxville tried that. It made me CRAZY! The mild aisle would moo and the chicken section would cluck. The sounds were activated by motion detectors. Once the children in the store figured that out, the mooing and clucking got completely out of control. Luckily, the store removed the sound effects. Whether or that decision had anything to do with the nasty email I sent them is anyone's guess.

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  12. @Lisa R. Perhaps they are a courtesy. And you're probably right that it helps keep the produce from drying out. This all makes sense. But when my local Winn Dixie went and put those Anaconda's next to the banana bin, I thought they took this rain forest thing too far! :-)

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  13. @Deidra. This is too funny! Clucking chickens? Mooing cows? I think it was a good idea that they scuttled all of that...And it probably had nothing to do with you nasty e-mail, lol. Thanks for stopping by, your humor is more than welcome!

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  14. That is so funny! The Safeway in Lahaina does the same thing! However I never knew that was suppose to be a thunder clap!! Hahaha! I've lived on Maui over 12 years now and I've only heard thunder a half a dozen times. Maybe thats why?? It's not like Florida out here :) I heard more thunder claps in FL in 2 weeks than I've heard my whole life!

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  15. @Mauimandy. LOL! And come to think of it Mandy, I don't think anywhere is quite like Florida thunder-clap-wise, particularly Tampa Bay where I lived for a number of years. They pride themselves on being the Lightning Capital of the World. I believe they're also known as the Most Likely to Be Struck on the Golf Course Capital of the World. A title they are a little less proud about. :-)

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  16. I like the thunder sound and rain thing but your post was entertaining. But I sure would not enjoy the sounds of mewing cows, snorting pigs and clucking chickens as mentioned above in another comment.

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  17. @Suzanne (You Made That?) Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for stopping by! I try to post weekly so be sure to check in often.

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  18. The grocery store where my mom and I shop does not do that in the fruit and veggie department. I actually think that would be pretty cool though!
    I think Deidra and Lisa are right, its a way of tell the shoppers the dams are breaking lose.
    Your post was funny and made me laugh! I enjoyed reading it!

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  19. @Tammy. Thanks for dropping in! Glad it brought a smile - more helpings of blog buffoonery coming up soon...

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  20. My store doesn't do the thunder thing, but I've been in those that do...my 3 year old son gets so confused. I love grocery shopping even without the thunder, but I thought I was in the minority...glad to hear someone else does as well! Funny post, as always :)

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  21. Now that you mention it, I have noticed that at Publix but I guess I never think about it. Now, of course, I will. I'm sure all sorts of research has been done as to why they do it. It would be interesting to find out what the research shows.

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  22. @Abbey. Hey Abbey! Good to see you again! How are you feeling? I bet you're more than ready...Is your son excited? I bet! Anyway, I know you like to cook from scratch, but under the circumstances you're allowed a couple of 'cheats'. Take care - of you and that little one who is about to enter the world and take it by storm! :-)

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  23. @Dawn. Well, now that I let the cat of the bag I'm sure you'll notice it. Especially if we're in the produce department at the same time. Just look for the guy that's yanking the plastic bags off the heads of the elderly. :-)

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  24. Glad I took the time to read your story and comments this morning, having a lot of laughs here with my cup of coffee! It's true, I think my cup of coffee is laughing too

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  25. @Lin Ann. Thanks, Linda! Glad it brought a smile this morning. :-)

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  26. I imagine it is a creative way of warning people that the mist is going to start in case they don't want to get sprayed accidentally while reaching for some veggies.

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