Monday, April 25, 2011

Why I Don’t Own a Kindle or Any Other E-Reader...Yet.

I just got the word that my book Table for Two – The Cookbook for Couples will be released for Kindle and other similar electronic reading devices.

When I asked why, they told me that by not doing so we would leave money on the table. Naturally, I hate to leave money on the table -- unless, of course, the wait service was exceptional.

Besides, they were starting to get requests for Table for Two in e-book format -- like one they just got from a small town in West Africa.

So I think it is a good thing.

But I don’t own one. Yet.

At first it was because I am always a slow adapter to new technologies. I believe I was one of the last documented holdouts for vinyl as opposed to CD’s back in the 80s. And I’m still not sure what to make of Blu-ray. (It’s a type of sunglass lens, right?)

However, my very first laptop and desktop computers were Macs, so I’m at least good for something.

But it just was not my inner Luddite raising his head again. I, like many others, enjoy the tactile feel of a book in my hands. But that is changing. I used to have my local paper delivered until we moved a few years ago. I never got around to re-subscribing and began to get most of my news off the internet. I never thought that would ever happen, but it did.

So I see myself getting a Kindle or Nook someday. But not just yet. And it has little to do with my technological lag time or my love of all things tactile. The main reason? These items are not waterproof.

Or to be more specific: margarita proof.

Here’s how I know.

Two years ago I was at Book Expo America. It is "the" publishing event in the country. Held at the Jacob Javits Center in New York City, it features several floors and miles of aisles of all things publishing. For just $250 I can have the privilege of chatting with publishers and authors from all over the world. It also allows me the privilege of buying $6 beers and $10 sandwiches. And this year I could have the privilege to join several hundred other attendees at breakfasts hosted by Julianne Moore, Jim Lehrer, Diane Keaton and Roger Ebert. Heck, even if it was only Julianne Moore, that’d be worth at least 100 bucks right there. If she'd let me butter her toast it'd be worth $200. At least.

But I digress. Two years ago I was wandering through this roiling sea of publishers and vendors when I stumbled into what appeared to be a tropical island. It seems one vendor shipped in a couple of tons of sand, a small forest of palm trees, and a bevy of statuesque blondes in micro-bikinis to showcase their new e-reader: The Cooler.

As one who has always harbored a fondness for the beach, I soon found myself wandering over to check it out. One of the women, her name tag read Ivana (though I am not sure to this day how that name tag was attached due to a lack of actual material to affix it to) led me over to a bamboo cart that held a chrome and glass margarita machine the size of a small nuclear power plant, as well as stacks and stacks of their Coolers. She handed me a glass and told me to help myself as she expounded the virtues of the new e-reader.

I placed the glass beneath the spigot and, not wanting to appear rude, gave Ivana my full attention (how the heck was that name tag attached?) and proceeded to fill up my glass.

Not.

In my desire to be attentive and polite, I did not get my glass completely under the spigot. In fact, I wasn’t even close. Instead, quarts and quarts of ice-cold margaritas poured past my glass and began to soak the Coolers that were on display.

If I hadn’t felt my socks getting wet, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. I looked down and with a loud “crap” or similar word I released the spigot and stared at the lime-infused e-readers which only moments ago featured the works of great literature on their screens but now only flickered and buzzed.

Ivana could only hold her hand to her mouth and utter, “Youski  ar oneski bigski dumbasski!” Which I took to be Russian for, “Here, let me clean that up.”

I smiled a sheepish smile and filled my glass. Then I backed away and disappeared into the crowd while some men in suits stumbled into the tropical tableau from somewhere behind the curtain yelling and screaming about something that must’ve happened a few moments earlier.

As I wandered down to the more boring McGraw-Hill booth, which employed women dressed as flight attendants and served tea, I sipped my frosty concoction and vowed that I would never invest in an e-reader until they had perfected it.

Yes, it must be margarita-proof.

40 comments:

  1. As an avid bathtub reader and beach reader, I cannot agree more. And it's just not the same not having wine/food/coffee/grease stains on an electronic device than a favorite and well worn cooking tome.

    Having said that, resistance is futile. Adapt or be left behind.

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  2. Warren, lovely and amusing little note. So sorry about the *spill*. I have a different take on the matter as I have published my cookbook exclusively for Kindle and Ipad. As the format is readily available on PC's for free I find it so simple to access. My friend stopped in the middle of a store the other day, pulled out her Iphone and showed her friend one of my recipes...I do understand your tactile need to "hold the book". I guess I'll leave it at: there are always 2 sides of the coin. :)

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  3. Ahhh, but for those that LOVE technology (like me) and from what I heard, almost everybody that rides the subway in New York City, Kindles, iPads, Nooks etc, are the THING to read while you're commuting.

    Think of the potential communting customers that want to look up something to make for dinner, but forgot your cookbook at home, but always have their e-book with them and are headed to the grocery store. They could look it the e-book version of your cookbook, and decide on what DELICIOUS recipes to make!

    Welcome to a whole new market!

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  4. The big problem with an e-book is that you cannot order an autographed copy. Be sure and sign the two I just ordered really big so's I can read it. JB

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  5. Warren, you are in good company. We don't have those new-fangled books either.

    I still like cooking from old index cards that my mom made up and put in a recipe box for me almost 34 years ago. Oh, and the hard copy of your cookbook too! ;)

    Not sure I believe your story about the margarita machine. Hmm . . .

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  6. I don't own one either, but my husband has an ipad and it's pretty damn cool. He's such a tech-head and is thrilled about the ability to read books in e-reader format, although he knows to keep it far, far away from me when I have anything wet in my hands.

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  7. @LaDivaCucina. I love my messy cookbooks, too, Laura. But I also know that one day I will buy an e-reader. Just like I now own a gazillion CD's... :-)

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  8. @Melanie. These are all great points and one reason why I'm glad Table for Two will soon be an e-book!

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  9. @bob's my uncle. Just got your order, John. Thanks! Good point about signed books...didn't even think of that. :-)

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  10. @ Jill. The BEA margarita machine story? It happened. :-)

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  11. @Abbey. Hmmm. An iPad you say? Now that sounds intriguing. I will need to look into that!

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  12. Hmm...it could have been stuck with double sided tape. It is a trick some of us gals use to prevent wardrobe malfunctions, however, in her case she may have been using it to affix her name tag. Veeery interesting. Either way, yes, good idea to wait until there is a drink proof version.

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  13. Oh my. haha! Well, there are certain technologies for every occasion. I can say that while I might bring a kindle on vacation, I probably will never read my children books at bedtime with one. Maybe the first step is purchasing now, margaritas afterwards.

    p.s. The Ivana margarita story is hilarious. I'm just sayin' ;-)

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  14. @Dawn. You know, if I didn't muck up all those Coolers I probably would've gotten around to asking her about the name tag. But your hypothesis is probably correct. However, I think it would've been a lot more fun to have Ivana demonstrate the ins and outs of name tag placement on bikini clad girls. lol.

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  15. @Kate from Scratch. Technology for every occasion - so true, so true. Now I just need to have the tact to use the right technology at the right occasion (that, Kate, is a whole 'nother blog...)

    Anyway, if you're out about shopping for an e-reader, pick up one for me. I'll make us a batch of margaritas. They'll be ready when you get back. :-)

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  16. Warren, this was a very pleasant read. It was my first visit to your blog and after poking around a bit I can definitely tell you I'll be back. I hope you book is enormously successful. Have a great evening. Blessings...Mary

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  17. @Mary. Thanks for the kind words! I try to post weekly so feel free to drop by often. :-)

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  18. I do not own an e-reader of any kind yet either. That being said, I know so many converts who now ONLY purchase in electronic format. I read my cookbooks in the tub, if I drop a book, its probably less than $50. If I drop an e-reader... I would probably be a lot more upset about the situation. LOL

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  19. @sweetkd. I knew you read your cookbooks in the tub from a previous blog post of yours re: measuring spoons, lol. So yes, an e-reader would certainly not do in that type of situation!

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  20. My Kindle has saved me far more than its price. In fact, I had probably downloaded about sixty free books before I paid for my first one. So...I could drop a Kindle or two into a tub and still have it be worth my while from a financial perspective.

    That being said, just save magazines for the tub and read your e-reader on dry land.

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  21. @Sharon. And this is one of the perks I believe. Where did you find so many free books? I only ask, 'cuz most of the books in "The Bin" at my local used book store are not worth reading, lol. How do you find free e-books that are?

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  22. Haha this is funny. I too was skeptical about getting a kindle, because I just like the feel and smell of books. I just like to curl up with a book. Also, I hardly ever actually buy books, I'm a poor student so I typically just go to the library. But when I actually got my hands on one I fell in love. There are free word games, tons of free books, and reduced prices on other books. Now that I have one, there's been plenty of nights that I've "curled" up with my kindle and a glass of wine, with no spillage yet! I don't think I'd be brave enough to take it to the beach though.

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  23. @olivewineandfood. Good to hear from another tactile 'bookie' who has made a smooth transition to an e-reader. I am definitely on my way, and you're painting a picture of curling up with a glass of wine just nudged me a bit closer. Thanks!

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  24. I don't know about new technologic stuff.....I need practice English first i think..hum......

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  25. @Phoebe Chung. LOL, Phoebe. But I tell you what, if your Phoebe's Flying Kitchen is any indication, I'd say your were doing just fine! :-)

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  26. Hi Warren,
    Since I just invested in my first Mac, the iPad2, I can use it as an e-reader. It's on its way! But don't know if I want to switch from physical books. I love to touch and turn pages. Now for recipes, I wouldn't mind a digital device but then again, I have a tendency to splash a little sauce here and there that I now insert all recipes into a clear page cover. I'll stick to my old-fashioned way for now. It works (although it takes up space).

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  27. hi there, thanks so much for passing by + following wandering spice!

    i completely agree with you about loving the feel of a book in my hands. i consider myself pretty tech savvy but still haven't quite warmed up to e-readers. my boyfriend got one several months ago and LOVES it... he even put some of my favorite titles on there... all of them remain yet unread :)

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  28. @Christine. An iPad2? Oh my! I want one!

    And I share your hesitation about giving up real books. But listen, I expect a full report after you've given the new iPad a shot. After all, I would expect nothing less from the best South Beach Tour Guide. LOL.

    Segue: For those who don't know - Christine offers a killer Art Deco Tour in South Beach.

    And also for those who don't know, I paid for this tour after finding it on the net. She didn't comp me for a 'review'. (Read it here: http://bit.ly/lrCU0S) Trust me. If you get to South Beach, take her tour. It rocks.

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  29. @Yasmeen. It's always a bummer when a loved one buys us stuff they think 'we would need'. Just look in my closet and garage, lol! But hey, this e-reader thing may be one worth considering. Give it a shot and report back!

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  30. Thanks for the best breakfast belly laugh I've had in a long time. As a former events person I can only wonder why the readers were displayed within pouring distance of the margarita machine....guess Ivana didn't 'trump' her job description that day - you're fired! Personally I'm a scribbler in cookbooks. Every recipe I try I note changes, thoughts and whether to make again. I love the history of the splats of sauce on the page and the inevitable sticky chocolate handprint of my daughter. OMG - I think I feel a post coming on!

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  31. @Di-licious. LOL! Glad you found your way here. And if you can find some inspiration along with the laffs, then it's all the better. Now...go write that post! :-D

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  32. er..hello.. here in the UK will call it 'tit tape'. Crude yes, but that's what the laaady will have been using to secure her name tag. I was going to buy a Kindle and then realised that the i-pod Touch comes with an 'e-reader' so BB had a look and downloaded me some free books one of which is a vegan cookbook. BUT I have just been on holiday and read 2 'proper' ;o) books, both given to me by friends when they had finished with them, which is great recycling no ? and I still haven't dug out the i-pod Touch (which belongs to my daughter). Enough said ! I'll have to make this a blog post subject too as I have lots to say about tablets, i-pads, apps, e-readers etc. Very interesting subject Warren.

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  33. @Kooky Girl. So...you've been on holiday. We certainly missed you! Anyway, what you speak of must be a "UK thing" because I just walked into my local stationary store and asked the girl behind the counter to show me the tit tape. After I picked my self off the floor I decided I would not broach that subject again...

    Anyway, I'm glad you got to read some 'proper' books on your holiday. I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts about e-readers when you get around to posting them. Oh...and if you ever need any, um, tape, I can tell you where not to go... :-D

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  34. I love to read and can definitely see the benefits of owning a kindle, but I don't own the books I read either...I'm a library girl. It's the cheeper, greener solution. :)

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  35. @Gwenevere. Good point! I was a library junkie til they kicked me out http://bit.ly/gouE1d :-)

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  36. Hi! It's also known as 'body tape' or 'lingerie tape' neither of which will be found in the stationary store - but in the ladies clothing section at the department store - but that's the 'PC' name if you really were to go in search of any yourself... :o)

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  37. @Kooky Girl. Now you tell me! lol. And here I thought one would find it next to the scotch tape in the stationary section. Good thing you gave me a heads up, cuz I was just about to head over to my local home improvement store and the aisle where they stock the masking tape and duct tape. Me-thinks if I would've asked the clerk (who's name incidentally, is Roger) to show me the tit tape I probably would've left the store with a hammer in my head...I owe you one Carolyn. :-D

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  38. Now you got ME choking on my Easter choccies - Roger. Classic. :o)

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  39. Your book has really fantastic reviews on Amazon. Congratulations!

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  40. @FifteenSpatulas. Thanks, Joanne! Hopefully, we will have another book out for Christmas.

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